Just chilling on the tracks, no biggy

Originally uploaded by Amy-Marie

Not much has changed since the last entry, but they’re no worse than they were before.

On the 17th I lost my full time painting job since my now former boss decided he wasn’t going to be taking on any more big jobs, meaning he was also going to get rid of his crew… except one person he was going to keep full time. I won’t even bother getting into that. I absolutely loved that job. I was making decent money, I liked the work, I liked my boss and for the most part, the people I worked with. I was devastated to find out I wouldn’t be returning this year.

Since January I had been searching for a part time job in hopes of paying off some debt and possibly getting an apartment. But I needed my painting job to do so. I had just been rejected by several jobs I had applied for, and then end up getting the bad news about my FT job. So my plans have all gone down the drain because there’s no way I plan to start two jobs at the same time. I’m on the hunt for another painting job, and have had three people contact me back, but I’m really only interested in the one, which I had an interview for last week. I should know more about it in the next couple of days!

Before all of that had happened, my grandpa was admitted to the hospital. I really don’t want to go into detail about it since it’s a family issue and I don’t think I want the world to know what is going on, but he wasn’t doing to well. He’s been there for three weeks now, and the same day I lost my job, I was told he probably wouldn’t be coming home. Things are looking up though, and he might come home afterall, but I’m not expecting it.

One of my friends from Manitoba is coming back to Ontario for two weeks with her boyfriend. I haven’t seen her since summer of 2008! We plan on doing a little photoshoot while she’s here, and the weekend of the 10th (her birthday) the entire “gang” is getting together since it’s been years since we’ve all seen each other. I can’t wait. Something to look forward to!

Things went downhill fast since I wrote that last entry. Everything is falling apart. Wednesday was the worst. Some already know what’s been going on, and I don’t really feel about writing about it just yet. I’ve pretty much hit rock bottom, so things can only go up from here… right?

I’m having a hard time staying positive this week. Despite everything that’s [not] going on, I’ve been trying to stay optimistic and hopeful, especially when it comes to finding another job and moving out, it’s really hard. Everything is falling through, and I hear non-stop from my dad about how I owe him money and need to pay rent; yet he knows I’m only working about two days a week and it’s not looking like there will be work any time soon for my full time job.

I’m so unbelievably stressed and my body is showing it. My face is so broken out, I’m shedding my hair like crazy (big clumps keep coming out in the shower), my jaw is constantly clenched and I have tension headaches everyday. I feel like I’m falling apart, and I’m wondering how much longer I can stay sane. All the jobs I’ve applied for I didn’t get, the two apartments I had lined up fell through, and I’m almost ready to give up. I may have to ask for my old job back at Tim Horton’s. I’m that desperate, and I’m running out of options.

I’m also sick of everyone telling me to quit my full time job and move away. Sure, that sounds easy, but it’s not. I actually LIKE my job. And not just as a painter, I like who I work with. I wouldn’t want to do this for any other company. And moving away isn’t that simple. It cost money to move. I can’t even move into town, let alone another city. I’m tired of hearing it.

Sorry for such a negative entry, but I need to vent a little. =/

P.S. I’ve been updating the gallery lately too

The past week I’ve been experiencing weird facial pains (mostly in cheeks) and a tingling feeling along the sides of my face, all the way up and down my head. I’m still not sure exactly what’s causing it, but I think it might be too much caffeine. I’ve been pretty stressed since the summer, and as a result I’ve been drinking WAY too much coffee. I went from drinking 0-1 cups of coffee a day to about 5 a day. So yesterday I tested it out and only had one cup of coffee (totally by accident though because I forgot I wasn’t going to drink any), and I only had pains that morning. The rest of the day I was fine. Weird.

One of my friends from Ottawa was home for the weekend so I was able to practice shooting people. There was a huge difference from the first attempt with her, to this one. We were both a lot more comfortable and kind of knew what to expect so I got some decent shots. I’m pretty proud of them for it only being my third time shooting anyone. The one of her laughing is my favourite! Click the pictures to view full size.

I might be photographing another friend either tomorrow or next week sometime. We’re still working on when we’ll do it. She has some ideas so I’m excited to see what she has in mind! I think she mentioned something with her snowboard…

I’ve finally started to receive my Employment Insurance. It’s only taken almost three months! I still have to call on Monday though, to find out about my back-pay from November. I was supposed to call yesterday but forgot all about it. I’ve also been applying to various part-time jobs in town, but still no call backs

Tuesday I’m going to a spin/yoga class with some girls from Starbucks. LOL. I didn’t have anyone to go with, so I mentioned it when I went in for my usual, and they wanted to join. Haha. At least now I won’t be going alone. I hope I don’t die from the bike though, it’s been years since I’ve been on one, even though my mom owns an exercise bike… it’s just never used. I sooo need to get back on track, I’ve gained about 10lbs since being laid off! I hope this helps!

My communication group has been amazing. I’m sad that there’s only four more meetings left. I find it so informative and helpful; I think I’ve made a huge change since I started it, as well as therapy. This year I will be a whole new me!

I spent my long weekend in Barrie, with my friend Alicia. It was great to get out of the house and do something. I went down on the Saturday and came back on Monday. We spent Saturday afternoon painting her apartment, which only took 4.5 hours, including clean up. We did both the ceiling and walls; She did the trim on her own Monday evening. I think the colour looks amazing, and totally compliments her cupboards.

After painting we had pizza and garlic bread for dinner – SO good. Especially since we both didn’t eat that day. We were starving, and ate it all! We went to one of the local bar/clubs in Barrie to celebrate my birthday, which was so fun. We called it a night at 1:00am because our feet hurt so bad. It had been a long time since I had worn heels… and we both wanted street meat. It was totally worth the walk to get it, too.

Sunday we mostly spent the day around the apartment. We went to Starbucks in the AM because we were both in dire need of caffeine. Alicia did a couple errands at the bank and Walmart, and then we went back to the apartment. At about 7pm we went out so I could practice shooting people, and took some shots of Alicia by the waterfront, but we didn’t stay long as it was freezing. I’m not too happy with the shots. Even the composition was horrible. But the only way to get better is to practice, right?

We rented the The Time Traveler’s Wife, which wasn’t too bad of a movie. It was a little weird, and some parts don’t quite add up, but it kept me entertained, plus I love Rachel McAdams. Alicia also made cookies. They were ah-maz-ing!

While I was in Barrie, I went to Chapters and bought Wreck This Journal by Keri Smith. I am in love! I’m bringing it with me everywhere, and I’m addicted! It’s so much fun, and a boredom killer. Loooove it!